Hi Sadie, I'm sorry to hear what you've been through. It's really tough having to cut family out of your life, but I understand. I had questions similar to yours about myself, and talk therapy helped me work it out. With some things, I was part of the problem, but that didn't excuse the toxic behavior of others. Keep searching and you'll find your answers.
Hi Scott, I cut contact with my mother 20 years ago and haven't regretted it for a moment. The unfortunate part of this was that I lost the rest of my family of origin too, became she is extremely good at playing the Victim.
I also gradually moved myself out of a friendship which left me feeling drained every time I spent time with her. I still feel a little guilty about that because she leaned on me a lot for advice and support - but that was part of the problem, very much a one way street. And I felt I couldn't relax properly round her, because I was presenting a carefully curated version of myself to avoid toxicity and disapproval.
But sometimes I can't shake the feeling that it must be ME that's the problem. I attract toxic people in varying shades all the time. So I've been struggling with questioning whether they really are toxic or if it's me that's been the problem all along.
It's hard to walk away from a toxic friend but the only way to protect yourself. I'm proud of you for recognizing the problem and then taking action. The pain subsides in time.
I love that we are discussing this topic! I am currently dealing with a judgemental friend; it has taken me a long time to tell her how I felt about her comments. Once I told her and realized she lacked empathy for my situation, it was the closure that I needed to walk away from that relationship. It's been a few days, and I found myself ruminating and, at times feeling a little guilty, but I am working through it because I have been working hard to release the toxicity in my life so that I can feel good.
Hi Sadie, I'm sorry to hear what you've been through. It's really tough having to cut family out of your life, but I understand. I had questions similar to yours about myself, and talk therapy helped me work it out. With some things, I was part of the problem, but that didn't excuse the toxic behavior of others. Keep searching and you'll find your answers.
Thank you Scott.
Hi Scott, I cut contact with my mother 20 years ago and haven't regretted it for a moment. The unfortunate part of this was that I lost the rest of my family of origin too, became she is extremely good at playing the Victim.
I also gradually moved myself out of a friendship which left me feeling drained every time I spent time with her. I still feel a little guilty about that because she leaned on me a lot for advice and support - but that was part of the problem, very much a one way street. And I felt I couldn't relax properly round her, because I was presenting a carefully curated version of myself to avoid toxicity and disapproval.
But sometimes I can't shake the feeling that it must be ME that's the problem. I attract toxic people in varying shades all the time. So I've been struggling with questioning whether they really are toxic or if it's me that's been the problem all along.
It's hard to walk away from a toxic friend but the only way to protect yourself. I'm proud of you for recognizing the problem and then taking action. The pain subsides in time.
I love that we are discussing this topic! I am currently dealing with a judgemental friend; it has taken me a long time to tell her how I felt about her comments. Once I told her and realized she lacked empathy for my situation, it was the closure that I needed to walk away from that relationship. It's been a few days, and I found myself ruminating and, at times feeling a little guilty, but I am working through it because I have been working hard to release the toxicity in my life so that I can feel good.