Walk Away From Toxic People
Pursuing the good often means walking away from the bad.
Hi there!
Monday’s Journal Prompt: Have you ever lost someone and then realized later that they were only in your life for a reason or a season? How did it help you to see the situation from that perspective?
Yesterday, our lesson reminded us how people come into our lives, some for a reason, others for a season, and some for a lifetime. While your understanding of a person’s role often comes slowly, there are times when it’s necessary to move on quickly.
When I was young, I was sexually abused by someone I should have been able to trust. The person spent a lot of time at our house. The only way I survived was to block the memories from my mind.
Things can only stay hidden so long. Eventually, your brain decides it’s time to deal with the awful thing, and then all the terrible memories flood back.
When I first started remembering things, I thought my mind was playing tricks on me. The abuser was still in my life, so I knew it couldn’t be true.
Then, someone who knew what happened, confirmed my worst fears. We were both the same age and had both been abused by the same monster. Once I knew it was true, I cut the abuser out of my life and have never seen nor talked to them since.
Protect yourself
Not every bad relationship is as bad as being abused, but every toxic person damages you. The longer you put up the with toxicity, the worse it harms you.
If you’re honest with yourself, you know which friends are bad for you. I have one friend I love dearly, but every time we talk, he is full of negativity about the friends we have in common. I always walk away depressed and doubting my other friendships.
When I take the time to meditate on what my friend has said, often much of it is untrue. He chooses to misconstrue what other people do and then uses it as an excuse to judge them. As much as it hurts, I now rarely talk to this friend. It’s not worth the damage it does to my psyche.
The focus of this club is positivity, but sometimes you have to face the bad before you can feel the good. For today, think about the people in your life who bring you down.
Whether family, friends, or workmates, consider the individuals who always make you feel worse after you’re with them. Then, make a plan to decrease the amount of time you spend with them.
It’s okay to cut people out of your life or limit your time with them if they are damaging to you. Accept reality and then take steps to fix it.
Tomorrow, we’ll refocus on the positive and talk about how to appreciate the gems in your life.
Tuesday’s Journal Prompt: Who in your life makes you feel worse every time you’re around them? Is it something you can fix? If not, how can you reduce the time you spend with them?
Until next time, keep fighting.
Scott Ninneman
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Hi Sadie, I'm sorry to hear what you've been through. It's really tough having to cut family out of your life, but I understand. I had questions similar to yours about myself, and talk therapy helped me work it out. With some things, I was part of the problem, but that didn't excuse the toxic behavior of others. Keep searching and you'll find your answers.
It's hard to walk away from a toxic friend but the only way to protect yourself. I'm proud of you for recognizing the problem and then taking action. The pain subsides in time.