The Importance of Grieving Every Loss
How to find your way through grief.
Hi there!
Grief is a complicated process. When you lose someone you love, grief becomes a lifelong companion. It’s like you’re suddenly given a second shadow, just as permanent as the first.
Not every day is as tough as those first few, but grief shows up where and when it wants to. It may be a song on the radio that takes you back in time or the scent coming from a neighbor's grill. Things both large and small can trigger feelings of grief.
Painful as it can be, taking time to feel your grief helps you remain positive the rest of the time. This week, we’ll focus on how to grieve in a way that’s right for you.
“Grief is never something you get over. You don't wake up one morning and say, 'I've conquered that; now I'm moving on.' It's something that walks beside you every day. And if you can learn how to manage it and honour the person that you miss, you can take something that is incredibly sad and have some form of positivity.”
- Terri Irwin
Grieve your way
Grieving is an important part of managing bipolar disorder. Repressed grief can be a trigger for both depression and mania. But if you can learn to grieve in a healthy way, it can help you stay balanced.
There’s no one right way to grieve.
Some need to talk about their grief in vivid detail. Others keep their feelings to themselves and grieve in solitude. Some people find comfort in their faith, while others find solace in nature. You may process your grief through art or by spending hours binge watching Grey’s Anatomy.
There is no wrong way to grieve, as long as it works for you.
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Grieve for every loss
Most often, when you think about grief, it’s probably in regard to a person or pet you lost, but there are other things you may also need to grieve. The end of a relationship, the loss of a job, or an unexpected move are all reasons you should grieve.
Grief is about overcoming loss, and every loss counts.
If you have bipolar disorder (or another chronic illness), it’s also important to grieve the life you thought you would have. Living with illness means it has to take first place in your life. Everything from then on has to include managing the condition.
Sadly, this often means some of your goals will be unattainable. If so, you need to grieve the loss just like you would when losing a friend or pet.
Talk about your grief
One of the best ways to get through your grief is to talk about it. A friend, partner, or therapist can help you sort out your feelings as you come to terms with your new reality.
Grief support groups are another excellent tool. In a group, you can grieve with others, get encouragement, and learn from all the stories you hear.
Your community may have grief support groups, but many do not. There are a few online options available to almost everyone.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness has a grief and loss support group.
The Grief Recovery Institute offers online and in-person grief support groups.
Run an internet search for: Grief support group [your city or country]
Grieving is hard, especially if you were taught to keep your feelings to yourself. Opening up to a trusted listener will help you move forward and work through the stages of grief.
(Paid subscribers) Tomorrow, we’ll discuss another tip to help you grieve.
Monday’s Journal Prompt: What’s a loss you need to grieve? How can you take the first steps this week?
Until next time, keep fighting.
Scott Ninneman
Did you enjoy reading this post? If so, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments, and please hit the restack button to spread the word. 🧡
Additional Reading
The book that started it all…
Scott Ninneman is the author of Speaking Bipolar’s 30 Days of Positivity and the writer behind SpeakingBipolar.com. Living in the mountains of southeast Tennessee, he spends his days crunching numbers as a tax preparer and his nights caring for his mother and writing stories about bipolar life. (And he loves pandas.)
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Grieving the life you feel you should have had is really, really important in severe mental illness and we don’t talk about it enough. Lovely to see you mentioning it.
This is so important, Scott. Especially talking about the loss... therapy helped me process the unexpected deaths of my dog and my godmother.