Hi there!
When I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I saw nothing but the weeds: the worst of everything.
The diagnosis felt like a curse, and I couldn’t imagine anything good coming from it. But over time, I began to see the wildflower in my weed. Through gratitude, I’ve learned to find joy in even the darkest of moments.
Now I’ll never go as far as saying bipolar is a gift. It’s definitely not a gift.
I see people on social media say their mental illness is a gift, and then they get ripped apart by trolls because of it.
No mental illness is a gift, and especially not bipolar. But if you look for the flowers, you’ll see there are still many in your garden.
"Some people could be given an entire field of roses and only see the thorns in it. Others could be given a single weed and only see the wildflower in it. Perception is a key component to gratitude. And gratitude a key component to joy."
- Amy Weatherly
Scott Ninneman also publishes the free All Things Bipolar Newsletter (off Substack). The Sunday email features the newest content about bipolar life. Every Sunday in December will focus on closing your year in the best possible way.
See the Flower
Some days are really hard, but choosing to see the wildflower in the weeds can improve your mental health. Here are three ways to do it:
Recognize the good: Make a list of things that make your life better, no matter how small. Maybe it’s a comfortable bed or a great cup of coffee. Your light may come from a friend who understands you, or from a cloudless sky. Whatever it is, take a moment to recognize the good in your life.
Dark days with depression chase a lot of light from your life, but there’s always some light to be found. I have a fuzzy blanket (ad) that’s soothing when I can’t get out of bed. My quiet bedside fan keeps the air moving without keeping me awake. Both are like beautiful flowers in my garden.
Focus on the present: The bipolar brain loves to ruminate. It's easy to get caught up in reliving the past or worrying about the future. When you purposely focus on the present, you can appreciate more of the good that’s happening right now.
I often get lost in the weeds and obsess about the future. My mind loves to play the worst-case-scenario game, and the darker it gets, the worse my outlook becomes.
When I see myself getting off track, I slow down and focus on the moment. I use questions like these:
What’s happening right now?
Are you safe?
Are you loved?
How does your body feel?
Are your muscles tense or relaxed?
Are you taking deep or shallow breaths?
Bringing your mind back to the present opens your eyes to what’s happening around you. Mindfulness can bring you a bit of peace, and that’s a wonderful flower to enjoy.
Practice gratitude: Gratitude is a muscle that needs to be exercised. The more you practice it, the easier it becomes.
Make it a habit to express gratitude every day. If you have food to eat, clean water to drink, and a place to lay your head, those are reasons to be grateful. So are pets, loved ones, comfy furniture.
When you look for reasons to be grateful, you’ll be surprised at how much better you feel. I try to write down three reasons to be grateful at the end of each day. Each thought gets jotted on a piece of paper and placed in a gratitude jar.
If you wrote three items every day, you would have 90 reasons to be thankful at the end of the month. That’s a lot of flowers.
Keep Looking
Life with bipolar disorder means you have to take the positive where you can get it. Some days you have to hunt like you're searching for gold, but there’s always a golden blossom to be found.
Try to find at least one flower every day. If there are more, add them to your list.
When you choose to see the wildflower in the weeds, you open yourself up to joy. Your entire outlook will change and life will feel a little more endurable.
Focusing on the flowers is good for your stability. Try it today and see how it goes.
What do you have to be grateful for today? Share in the comments below.
Journal Prompt: What wildflowers are in your life right now? Make a list and explain how each one improves your life.
Creative Writing Prompt: After a catastrophic disaster, you and your loved ones come out of an underground shelter. Nothing is standing: no buildings, no trees, nothing. Just when all hope appears to be gone, you find an object that changes everything. Write the story.
Until next time, keep fighting.
Scott Ninneman
Additional Reading:
The book that started it all…
Disclaimer:​
This email may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through one of these links, I may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you.
Golden poppies cover our "empty" lot across the street from our house. A blanket of wild flowers greet me every morning.