It’s Okay To Cancel Your Day When You Need To Shut Down
Rest today so you can fight tomorrow.
Hi there!
This morning, I woke up with a full list of places I needed to go.
Volunteer work was calling, meetings were on the schedule, and the day should have ended with an evening of laughter, friends, and family.
But before I even opened my eyes, my brain told me none of it would happen. Everything hurt, both physically and mentally.
"We humans have lost the wisdom of genuinely resting and relaxing. We worry too much. We don't allow our bodies to heal, and we don't allow our minds and hearts to heal."
- Thich Nhat Hanh
Scott Ninneman publishes two newsletters each week. The Sunday All Things Bipolar Newsletter features the newest content about bipolar life. The Speaking Bipolar Positivity Club Newsletter shares inspirational stories three times a week to help you maintain a positive mindset.
Chronic Illness and Flexibility
When you have a chronic illness, you never know what your day is going to bring.
Some days will be good, and you’ll be able to check off most of the things in your to-do list. Other days will be horrid, and you’ll struggle to just care for yourself.
One thing we often forget is that bipolar disorder is a chronic illness.
We don’t recognize that it has the same impact as conditions like lupus, fibromyalgia, or Familial Mediterranean Fever, but it does. In a desire to hide our invisible illness, we may think we’re not allowed to take time for ourselves or to shut down when we feel terrible.
And we’re wrong.
Take Time for You
I ended up canceling most of my day’s activities. Did the world stop spinning? Nope, but I felt much better after taking some time to rest.
For today, I want you to focus on the importance of taking care of yourself.
I always feel guilty when I have to shut down for a day or two. Sometimes I have to shut down for several in a row, and it sucks. Yet, I’ve been fighting this disease long enough to know that if I take the time now to rest, I will recover quicker.
And recovery is the most important thing.
Tips for Recovery
How can you best take care of yourself? Here are a few things I do on my down days.
Cancel everything. For me, that means not only canceling plans I had outside the house but also putting away all of my to-do lists. I stop thinking about content I need to create for my blog and ignore the laundry and dust bunnies. If you’re going to truly rest, you need to take everything off of your plate.
Rest, and then rest some more. Getting adequate rest is probably the most important thing you can do to take care of your mental health. When you don’t get enough down time, your mind fights back. It’s best then to stop everything and just stay home, sometimes just stay in bed. It’s okay to do that. Honestly, the world will keep going.
Your brain will try to beat you up for shutting down, and you may feel guilty, but you need to ignore both negative cheerleaders. Bipolar is an illness, and you have to take care of it the same way you would for any other illness.
Find something you enjoy doing. There may not be a lot of options, because when you feel terrible, who wants to do anything? But even from bed, there are some good things you can do.
As long as you don’t do it every day, it’s okay to spend the day in bed binge watching your favorite shows or movies. Letting your mind rest by focusing on content that doesn’t really matter helps it to reset while also distracting you from any negativity you may be feeling.
Give yourself a break. I have a tendency to beat myself up as soon as I start canceling plans. It feels like failure, that I’m letting everyone down. I know that those are not the facts, but it’s how I feel.
When life forces me to shut down, I focus on giving myself some grace. Just like I would forgive a friend if they canceled plans because they were sick, I attempt to forgive myself for having to take the day off.
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Self-Care is Essential
It can be a challenge to take time for yourself, but it’s essential.
Bipolar disorder is an illness just like any other condition you might have, so you have to take time to strengthen both your mental and physical health.
Despite the nagging voices in my head, I canceled all my plans. I didn’t get dressed or take a shower. Instead, I gave myself permission to lounge in my sweats, comfort foods like ice cream and Nutter Butter cookies, and binge watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. I let myself zone out so my brain and body could reset. I knew the next day would be better.
And I was right.
It’s okay to take time for you. The world won’t stop spinning if you yield to your disorder and take care of what’s happening inside. It’s not a weakness and there’s no reason to be ashamed. Taking care of you is essential, so never neglect what you need, and take that break.
How do you reset when you just can’t go? Please share your stories in the comments.
Write About Illness
Your topic today is chronic illness. Use these writing prompts to help you examine your feelings about living with it
Journal Prompt: Put together a self-care plan. What can you do on your down days to help the day pass quicker and to help you reset? How can you overcome any feelings of guilt or shame you might feel?
Bonus Prompt: Write yourself a letter forgiving you for the times you shut down to rest. Then read that letter every time you need to take a day off.
Creative Writing Prompt: Write a story about someone who lived with chronic illness for decades. A scientist offers them a pill that will cure all of their illnesses, but there’s a catch. If they take the pill, they have to leave everyone they know behind. What will they do? Write the story.
Until next time, keep fighting.
Scott Ninneman
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Before achieving stability, my life was overcommitment (when manic or hypomanic) or canceling life (depression). I stopped living outside my house. Before I disappointed so many people by not following up on commitments.
Now I can plan with the knowledge that I can follow through.