How To Make Peace With What You Cannot Change
This week we focus on letting go.
Hi there!
Early last year, a reader emailed me to tell me I was an awful person and a terrible writer. She offered no context or rationale.
In the past, I would have burned with rage for days after such an ugly message. My nights would have been filled with my mind running in circles, thinking of all the hateful words I could fling her direction.
Instead, I sent a quick reply telling the reader I was sorry she was disappointed with my content. Then, I removed her from all my subscription lists and blocked her.
I could never change her negative mindset, so I chose to let it go.
This is the man I am today, but it took a while to get here.
"Let come what comes, let go what goes. See what remains.”
- Ramana Maharshi
Learning To Let Go
It’s been 30 years since I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and I’ve had to learn to let go of a lot of things.
I used to obsess over controlling things in my life. I wanted to micromanage everything and strove for constant perfection. But now, I’ve learned that some things are out of my control—like other people’s opinions of me.
What I can control is how I react to situations.
When someone says or does something that upsets me, I can choose to let it go. I can decide to hold on to my power and control my emotions.
This doesn’t mean I let people walk all over me, but it does mean that I will not allow the negativity of others to bring me down.
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Bipolar and Letting Go
Living with bipolar means you have to let go of a lot of things.
Sometimes you have to mourn the life you imagined you would have. At other times, you have to walk away from relationships or jobs that are toxic to your mental health.
It can be tough to protect yourself, but if you can learn to let go of the smaller things, you’ll find it easier to get past the bigger ones.
For today, make a list of things you need to let go. Don’t worry, we’re only going to tackle one item this week.
Monday’s Journal Prompt: What would you like to let go of this week? How will you feel if you can let it go?
Until next time, keep fighting.
Scott Ninneman
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Additional Reading
The book that started it all…
Scott Ninneman is the author of Speaking Bipolar’s 30 Days of Positivity and the writer behind SpeakingBipolar.com. Living in the mountains of southeast Tennessee, he spends his days crunching numbers as a tax preparer and his nights caring for his mother and writing stories about bipolar life. (And he loves pandas.)
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I would like to let go of my negative feelings about having to take medication. I have been on the medicines for 14 yrs but somehow and for no good reason, I still manage to mentally berate myself over it. There is nothing wrong with treating an illness with medicine. Thanks for this post. I needed it today.
After having to go on SSDI, it took me a long time to let go of the life I thought I’d have.