The Importance of Accepting Help
This week, the focus is on asking for the help you need and deserve.
Hi there!
I handed her a tissue when her tears broke free from her eyes and started to stream down her face.
In silence, I listened to her story of the internal agony she was fighting. My own heart ached for her, but I knew it wasn’t the time for words. What she needed in the moment was a listening ear, someone to hear her story and make her feel seen.
What I didn’t know then was it was the first time she had opened up to anyone about the chaos in her mind or the hurt in her heart.
"We know you're strong, but accepting help is its own kind of strength."
- Kiera Cass
Accepting Help
Tamara was strong, an independent woman ready to stand toe-to-toe with anyone. And I do mean anyone. Admitting weakness was her greatest fear, yet telling me led to her greatest strength.
Accepting help with your bipolar disorder is hard.
I get it. I’m extremely independent. Opening up when I felt like I was crumbling inside was one of the toughest things I’ve ever done.
My parents raised me to take care of myself. When my world spiraled out of control, I felt like I was failing at everything, but it was only by accepting help that I found a path to recovery.
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What Tamara Did
I was the first person Tamara opened up to, but I was far from the last.
The next morning, I drove her to see her primary care doctor. Tamara usually walked in full of smiles and laughter, so her doctor saw a problem as soon as he entered the room.
Tamara’s face was puffy, her eyes red, and no smile graced her face. To me, she looked terrified, and I’m sure on some level she was.
During our earlier conversation, I helped Tamara rehearse the things she could say to her doctor. It’s one thing to know you should open up, but finding the words can be tough.
“I feel like I’m losing my mind!” Tamara blurted the first sentence out of her mouth before the doctor was fully in the room. He pulled up a chair and sat close right in front of her.
“Go on,” he said, and Tamara opened up.
Her doctor listened as Tamara shared her story and then asked his staff to make appointments for Tamara with a therapist and psychiatrist. The psychiatrist had an opening that afternoon, and I said I could take her there.
Tamara started to sob when it was time to go, and both the doctor and I froze, not sure what was going to come next.
“It’s okay,” she choked out through tears. “I didn’t think anyone would care enough to help.”
Start today
A start was all she needed. Tamara’s therapist and psychiatrist worked together on a treatment plan. After a few months, Tamara told me she was a different person, one she liked again.
When Tamara opened up and accepted help, her world changed for the better. You can do the same. It’s okay to start small, but try to take a step forward this week.
(Paid subscribers) Tomorrow, we’ll talk about how to get past the feeling that you don’t deserve help.
Monday’s Journal Prompt: What’s an area where you need to accept help? What can you do today to put you on the right path?
Until next time, keep fighting.
Scott Ninneman
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Additional Reading
The book that started it all…
Scott Ninneman is the author of Speaking Bipolar’s 30 Days of Positivity and the writer behind SpeakingBipolar.com. Living in the mountains of southeast Tennessee, he spends his days crunching numbers as a tax preparer and his nights caring for his mother and writing stories about bipolar life. (And he loves pandas.)
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