Hi there!
I used to be so ashamed of my mental illness.
I hid it from everyone, including myself. It felt like I had failed at being a man when the first doctor told me I had depression. The bipolar diagnosis was even harder to accept. I was embarrassed and felt alone, like no one understood or ever would.
But then I realized none of it was true.
Millions of people battle mental illness every day. They get up and face the day, refusing to give in to the darkness in their mind. Gender and age don’t matter. Mental illness can affect anyone.
In time, I learned the bravest thing you'll ever do is own your story and learn to love yourself.
Sharing your story is tough. I’ve been sharing mine online for over 6 years, but there are still days it feels too heavy to talk about.
What follows will help you accept yourself, mental health conditions and all, so you can finally start living your best life. You can be happy, healthy, and whole.
“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we'll ever do.”
- Brene Brown
Scott Ninneman also publishes the free All Things Bipolar Newsletter (off Substack). The Sunday email features the newest content about bipolar life.
How to Own Your Story and Love Yourself
Owning your story is rarely easy.
You may feel ashamed, or like you're the only one feeling your pain. Your mind may lie to you, telling you how weak you are, but it’s not true.
By owning your story, you take back control of your life and give yourself a voice. To own your story is to love yourself.
It's about accepting yourself, warts and all, and recognizing that you can overcome anything. In the beginning, it may feel impossible, but if I can get there, chances are good you can, too. Often, the first step to owning your story is accepting your diagnosis.
The Power of Acceptance
What I've learned through my bipolar journey is that the power of acceptance is immense. The world changes when you can see your place in it, and that only happens through acceptance.
If you're struggling with mental illness, know that you are not alone. The fact that hundreds read this newsletter every week shows how many understand your struggles.
They are just like you and me. They have bad days, but are constantly working on improving things. Acceptance helps.
You no doubt already accept and offer encouragement to loved ones who struggle with their mental health. You deserve the same support. It’s time to accept your bipolar disorder as a part of your story.
Then, allow yourself to love the person in the mirror. It may be the bravest thing you ever do.
Learning to Love Yourself
Self-love is essential to your journey with mental illness.
Bipolar disorder will lie and say you don't deserve love, but you do. I promise you. And when you can love yourself, you'll see clearer how your family and loved ones love you, too.
Here are some tips for owning your story and loving yourself:
Talk about your mental illness openly and without shame
It's okay if you start by sharing your story only in your journal or with your spouse or best friend. Start somewhere. Every little step counts.
Educate yourself about mental health
Knowledge is power in your mental health story. The more you know, the better you'll understand the things you think and feel.
Find a support group or therapist
There's nothing like the supportive bonds of finding someone who gets it when you share your story. Find your people and get the validation you need.
Challenge your negative thoughts and beliefs
Question your false beliefs like I did. Stand up to stigma and reflect on the realities of mental illness. You are not weak, unworthy, or unlovable. Stop the lies today.
Practice self-care and do things that make you happy
Taking care of yourself is essential. Prove how much you love yourself by the way you treat your mind and body.
Be patient with yourself
Your journey will take time. Rome wasn't built in a day, and your success won't be either. Patience, young grasshopper.
Don't expect perfection during recovery
There will be setbacks. Recovery is never linear. Be prepared for the backslides and hold on to hope on the hard days.
My Mental Health Story
I'd love to say it's easy to accept and tell your personal stories.
Learning to love yourself with mental illness is challenging. It's been decades since my bipolar diagnosis, but I still put in the work every day. Through journaling, affirmations, and friends brave enough to call me out, I'm on my way.
My journey is ongoing because there's no finish line. Owning your story and learning to love yourself is a never-ending process. There's no trophy waiting, just the love and support you deserved all along.
Sharing my story online helped me grow, but it took a long time to get there.
I received my bipolar diagnosis in 1995 but waited until 2017 to share my first online story. Even then, it was under a penname. I’ve worked hard on sharing my journey since then.
It's okay for you to take your time. There’s no timeline for accepting yourself, so don’t worry if it’s taking a while for you to share your story. It's unrealistic to expect everything to change overnight. If only that were possible! Like all worthwhile things, you need patience.
You'll get there if you're willing to do the work and support yourself along the way.
Go Own Your Story
The steps to owning your story take time.
Along the way, you may feel ashamed or other negative emotions. Try to push through the pain and build up your own emotional resilience. By owning your story and loving yourself, you take back control of your life.
If you're struggling with mental illness, know that you are not alone. Just like you, millions of us are walking the same path. We’re all brave but terrified at times. We may fall but we always get back up and start fighting again. You can do it, too.
The next time you're feeling embarrassed about your bipolar disorder, remind yourself how many people are like you. You deserve love and acceptance, so start accepting yourself as you are.
Until next time, keep fighting.
Journal Prompt: What steps can you take to own your story? How can you love yourself more in the process?
Creative Writing Prompt: A writer discovers that every story they write comes true. What do they write next? What happens?
Until next time, keep fighting.
Scott Ninneman
Additional Reading:
The book that started it all…
Disclaimer:
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