A Man Named James: a Lesson in Overcoming Life’s Trials
This week we focus on how to change your life.
Hi there!
James was born into a family that was always in chaos.
His father was an abusive alcoholic and worked third shift. His mother would sleep during the day to keep James’ father happy, but then ran around all night after her husband left for work, hooking up with several other men.
His parents frequently left James alone in a filthy house with little to eat.
James was no dummy.
He figured out if he visited one of his friends at mealtimes, their family would likely give him a few bites to eat. So, he worked a cycle of visiting all his friends within walking distance of his house.
“To grow, you must be willing to let your present and future be totally unlike your past. Your history is not your destiny.”
- Alan Cohen
Seeking peace
James never felt safe in his own home.
As a child, he endured a lot of abuse at the hands of his parents. No one ever told him, “I love you,” or “I’m proud of you,” until he chose a family of his own.
James escaped his home-life hell at 17, finding a room in a rooming house.
The rooming house wasn’t much better as far as environments go, but James had his own place he could keep clean. He also had a door where he could shut out the chaos of the world outside.
His refusal to give in to negativity inspired other youths living in the house, and he helped several abandon substance abuse.
Get free access to premium content
Refer 1 subscriber for 1 free month
Refer 5 subscribers for 3 free months
Refer 10 subscribers for 9 free months
Leave to protect your safety
People with mental illnesses are four times more likely to be a victim of abuse. Although James didn’t know he had a mental illness when he left his parent’s home, he fell in that group. But James didn’t stay in a bad situation. As soon as he could, James got out and never looked back.
If you are in an abusive or toxic environment, it’s okay to leave. Leaving may take a lot of courage but protecting yourself is your number one job.
Thankfully, most of us don’t deal with abuse every day, but we still interact with toxic people while at work or in our social lives. When you limit your contact with toxicity, it helps you to feel better about yourself and the world around you.
Your task today is to hold a mirror up to your life. Are you protecting yourself the way you should? Are there toxic places or people damaging your life? Now is the time to take action and limit those interactions.
(Paid Subscribers) Tomorrow, we’ll learn a little more about the trials James had to face.
Monday’s Journal Prompt: Have you ever had to leave a place or relationship to protect yourself? How did the change benefit you? What does the experience teach you about yourself?
Come share your stories in the Speaking Bipolar Positivity Club Chat. It’s open to all subscribers and a safe place to open up about your struggles and victories.
Until next time, keep fighting.
Scott Ninneman
Did you enjoy reading this post? Please leave a comment or hit the restack button or 🧡 to spread the word. Thanks!
Additional Reading
The book that started it all…
Scott Ninneman is the author of Speaking Bipolar’s 30 Days of Positivity and the writer behind SpeakingBipolar.com. Living in the mountains of southeast Tennessee, he spends his days crunching numbers as a tax preparer and his nights caring for his mother and writing stories about bipolar life. (And he loves pandas.)
Disclaimer:
This email may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through one of these links, I may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you.
Scott this article is really good and well - written. About 45 years ago (geez was it that long ago?) I left a physically abusive relationship. I was afraid to leave but I had a boatload of people helping me. And my best friend and family let me stay with them until I got an apartment. What friends, huh?
I'm so sorry for what you went through, but I'm glad you had amazing friends to get you through it. And good for you for getting out. Too many are afraid to leave and get stuck in the abuse for years.