You Are Not Your Past: Moving On from Painful Memories

How to move forward from your past.

A couple on a bench at sunset. | Graphic made by author with Canva.

Hi there!

One of my exes cheated on me. Blatantly, painfully, and in the house I bought for us to share our lives together. The betrayal rocked me to my core, but what followed was worse. 

First, so-called friends blamed me, saying her actions were my fault. They felt I didn't do enough to make her feel loved, so she turned to someone else. Those people were clueless about what really happened between us, but their words still hurt.

Then, there were the friends who came later, the ones I thought I could trust most, who told me they saw his car at our house late at night. They thought something was going on, but chose not to tell me. They didn't want to get involved. Their betrayal cut deepest of all.

It may not make sense to start a positivity post by talking about betrayal, but there's a lesson here. Just because someone hurts you, it doesn't mean you have to become a victim. You're not defined by your past, no matter how painful it may be.

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“We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it.”

- Rick Warren

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Scott Ninneman publishes two newsletters each week. The Sunday All Things Bipolar Newsletter features the newest content about bipolar life. The Speaking Bipolar Positivity Club Newsletter shares inspirational stories three times a week to help you maintain a positive mindset.

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We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it. Just because someone has hurt us doesn't mean we have to stay stuck in that pain. We can choose to move on.

So how do you do that? How do you move on from a painful past?

Here are some tips that helped me: