We Are All Wired For Connection
Independence is great, but interdependence is human.
Hi there, friend.
Last year, I grew some coneflower (echinacea) from seed. I was so excited to see the little plants sprout and then grow until they were big enough that I was able to transplant them in several places around the yard.
I knew they wouldn’t bloom the first year, so I eagerly waited to see what they would do this year. Yet, when this summer came, none of my plants bloomed. I finally figured out that the problem is I planted them in the wrong place.
Coneflowers do best with two conditions: one, they need at least 6 hours of direct sunlight. Two, they prefer soil that is nutrient-poor. I missed the goal in both respects. Sure, the plants are healthy and green, but they probably will never bloom where they are. So when I have the time (and energy), I have to move them to less fertile soil that gets more sunshine.
Coneflowers remind me that nothing in nature grows in a vacuum. Everything needs something in order to be its best. You and I are no different.
There’s a cultural myth that people are “self-made,” fully independent and never in need of anyone. It’s simply not true. Everyone, no matter how successful they eventually are or how hard they work, did not get there entirely by themselves. They had family or friends who had their backs or investors who helped them get started.
We were created to be social creatures. Our design is one that requires others in order for us to be fully happy. We survive through community, not isolation.
Here’s the takeaway: you aren’t a burden just because you need other people. You’re simply adjusting to the way you were made. That’s how you are meant to function, so don’t beat yourself up for it.
Also remember that not everyone can bloom under the same conditions. Maybe you need more sun, different soil, or a change of scenery. You can often find your place in the right people.
All humans need connection, even those without a mental illness. So stop listening to that lie in your head and reach out to the ones who love you.
Who in your life is your sunshine when you need it most? Please share in the comments.
Journal Prompt
Who makes up your support system? Write a short note of gratitude for the people (or pets) who help you thrive.
Until next time, keep fighting.
Scott Ninneman
This week’s theme post:
The Biggest Lie Your Brain Tells You
Sometime late last fall, a windstorm blew so strong that it ripped the vent cover off my attic fan. The vent cover is about 20 feet off the ground, and since my doctor has prohibited me from getting on ladders, I have not fixed it. I have probably half a dozen friends who would be willing to do it for me, but I’ve not asked anyone for help. Why not? Because I don’t want to feel like a burden...Do you ever feel that way?
Keep the Positivity Flowing 🌟
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Scott Ninneman is the author of Speaking Bipolar’s 30 Days of Positivity, Another 30 Days of Positivity, Anchored in the Storm (Guided Journal), and the writer behind SpeakingBipolar.com. Living in the mountains of southeast Tennessee, he spends his days crunching numbers as a tax preparer and his nights caring for his mother and writing stories about bipolar life. (And he loves pandas.)
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Hi, Scott. I have been thinking about this idea in the last days. To need help isn't weakness. To know asking for help when you need it means you are brave. Thanks for this post.