Walking Through Mental Graveyards: The Importance of Taking Time to Grieve
Face your grief so you can move forward.
Hi there!
Grief is a funny thing. When you lose someone close to you, grief becomes a lifelong companion.
Not every day is as tough as those first few, but grief shows up where and when it wants to. Painful as it can be, taking time to feel your grief helps you remain positive the rest of the time.
Grieving is an important part of managing bipolar disorder. Repressed grief can be a trigger for both depression and mania. But if you can learn to grieve in a healthy way, it can help you stay balanced.
“Grief is never something you get over. You don't wake up one morning and say, 'I've conquered that; now I'm moving on.' It's something that walks beside you every day. And if you can learn how to manage it and honour the person that you miss, you can take something that is incredibly sad and have some form of positivity.”
- Terri Irwin
Scott Ninneman publishes two newsletters each week. The Sunday All Things Bipolar Newsletter features the newest content about bipolar life. The Speaking Bipolar Positivity Club Newsletter shares inspirational stories three times a week to help you maintain a positive mindset.
Grieve Your Way
There’s no one right way to grieve.
Some need to talk about their grief in extended detail. Others keep their feelings to themselves and grieve in solitude. Some people find comfort in their faith, while others find solace in nature.
There is no wrong way to grieve, as long as it works for you.
If you’re struggling to deal with your grief, here are a few things that might help:
Talk to someone who understands what you’re going through. This could be a friend, family member, therapist, or support group.
Write about your feelings in a grief journal.
Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself.
Do something to honor the person you lost. This could be something as simple as planting a tree in their memory or writing a letter to them.
Most importantly, be patient with yourself. Grief is a process, and it takes time to heal. There’s no time limit, so don’t rush yourself.
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Take the Time You Need
I never truly understood grief until I lost my best friend. Yes, I experienced other losses. Losing my grandmother was especially tough. But when Lizzy died, my whole world went dark. I returned to bad habits and pushed friends away.
It was too painful to admit she was gone, so I stuffed my feelings deep inside. Grief won’t be denied, and it was only when I unpacked and reviewed my feelings that grief lost its power over me.
Taking time to grieve is an important part of managing bipolar disorder. It can help you stay balanced and find positivity in the midst of pain. If you’re struggling, reach out for help. There are people who understand and can offer support. Remember, you’re not alone.
Terri Irwin’s quote is so true, “Grief is never something you get over. You don’t wake up one morning and say, ‘I’ve conquered that; now I’m moving on.’ It’s something that walks beside you every day.”
If you’re grieving, know that it’s okay to take as much time as you need. Lean on your support system and be patient with yourself. You’ll get through this.
If you or someone you know is struggling with grief, there are resources available. Here are two examples:
The National Alliance on Mental Illness has a grief and loss support group.
The Grief Recovery Institute offers online and in-person grief support groups.
When grief comes calling, take some time to let it in. Let yourself feel your emotions and cry those tears. The only way past pain is to go through it, so dive in and mourn.
You’ll be you again soon, so don’t give up. Better days will return. You just have to hold on.
Journal Prompt: If there’s someone or something you need to grieve for, take some time to write about it. Explore your feelings and where you are in your grief journey. If not, write about how you can help someone you know who might still be going through the grieving process.
Creative Writing Prompt: After a decade, your character realizes they never let themselves grieve. Today is the day they choose to move forward. Write a story about their journey.
Until next time, keep fighting.
Scott Ninneman
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Additional Reading:
Coping with Grief and Bipolar When You Lose the One You Love the Most
Nobody’s Life is Perfect: How to Maintain Your Mental Health When Times are Tough
Blue-Tailed Lizards & Mental Health: A Morning Surprise With a Lesson
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