Walking Away From Toxic Relationships: It’s Okay to Let Go
Remembering a friendship I had to leave behind.
Hi there!
All spotlights shined on Jack whenever he entered a room.
With boyish dimples, dark hair and eyes, and a sparkling white smile, he drew in victims like insects to a web.
Jack’s words dripped with honey as he complemented everything from your looks to your intelligence. But the shiny veneer hid a seething monster—a beast that nearly cost me my life.
I’m a guy and after about age 25, we typically struggle to form close relationships with other men. Nearly all of my closest friends are, and always have been, women.
Jack was my brother’s friend, and he made me want to believe I’d finally found a male best friend.
I was wrong.
“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.”
- Steve Maraboli
Scott Ninneman publishes two newsletters each week. The Sunday All Things Bipolar Newsletter features the newest content about bipolar life. The Speaking Bipolar Positivity Club Newsletter shares inspirational stories three times a week to help you maintain a positive mindset.
Revealing the Monster
What I didn’t know was Jack was a monster.
He was full of smiles and jokes, but he also had a darkness inside him. It was a black hole he filled by manipulating and hurting others.
Our friendship started out great. He made me feel seen and included me in everything he did. But as time went on, the cracks began to show.
Jack would say hurtful things and then gaslight me, making me question my sanity. At parties, he took a sick pleasure in exposing my most embarrassing flaws and telling jokes at my expense. He would start arguments with me for no reason and then blame me when things went south.
I dreaded seeing him, but I felt like I couldn’t walk away. He had a hold on me I couldn’t break free from.
Recognizing the Toxicity
I was in a toxic relationship with a sociopath, and it nearly destroyed me. Yes, some friendships are toxic, a lesson I learned the hard way.
It took me hitting rock bottom before I could finally see the truth.
I was at my wit’s end, struggling to get out of bed in the morning and going through the motions of life on autopilot. I knew I had to make a change, but I didn’t know how.
That’s when I saw the Steve Maraboli quote, “Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.”
It was like a lightbulb went off in my head. I realized I didn’t have to keep putting up with Jack’s toxic behavior. I could walk away from the relationship with all his poison and never look back.
So that’s what I did.
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Walking to Freedom
It was a challenge, but walking away from Jack was the best decision I could make. Breaking free from the toxic relationship saved my life.
Jack refused to let me leave quietly. When it was clear I was finished with him, he set out on a campaign to ruin my character, but brought his own personality to light in the process.
People knew me and knew who I was inside. When Jack spread lies, they called him on it. He grew increasingly vicious, but with every attack, I felt stronger. I discovered who my true friends were.
Most people are better than Jack, but every now and then, toxic individuals will drift into your life.
As a friend’s dad used to say, “There are a lot of odd ducks out there, and occasionally, one lands on your pond.”
I rejoice every day that Jack is no longer near my pond. My friendship with him ended, as did those of everyone else in my circle of friends. Jack moved away and I’ve never seen him since.
If you’re in a similar situation, I encourage you to do the same. It’s okay to let go of relationships that are damaging your mental health. You don’t have to keep putting up with someone’s toxic behavior. You deserve better.
Take it from me: it’s okay to walk away.
Have you ever had to walk away from a relationship? How did you do it? Please share your experiences in the comments.
Write About It
Use these writing prompts to help you think deeper about relationships.
Journal Prompt: Write about a relationship you had to walk away from. What did the experience teach you? Is there a relationship you need to leave behind now? Why?
Creative Writing Prompt: Write a story that includes ducks. Use them as your characters or as a prop in the story. Begin the story with a character saying, “Why is that one so different?”
Until next time, keep fighting.
Scott Ninneman
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It’s never easy to end a relationship but sometimes it’s a matter of your health! Thank you🌹
I struggle with this. Autistic people value loyalty, and we expect it in return, but don't always get it. But we find it to tell the people harming us that they are doing so, and obviously can't do it with inanimate things like websites and television programs.