The Depression Mess and the Return to Order
The hidden link between clutter and anxiety (and how to fix it). | Declutter Week (1 of 7)
Hi there!
This was a brutal week.
The first two weeks of March are always tough because partnership and S-corporation tax returns are due on March 15th. It’s also when a lot of my clients first start thinking about their taxes or finally have the last of the year’s documents.
That turns into dozens of files on my desk and a constant swirl of phone calls and client meetings where I feel like I’m getting nothing accomplished.
I function best in a clean and organized environment, and while I’m doing my best to keep things as neat as possible, there are so many piles that just seeing my office stresses me out. On the positive side, those mountains of work inspired a week of posts about the value of decluttering, this week’s theme. Part one is below.
I’m writing this update on Sunday morning. My newsletter should already be in your inbox, but I’m not finished yet. After working all day yesterday, there was no brainpower left to type a single word. I’m sure you understand.
The light at the end of my tunnel is only 38 days away, so I just have to keep functioning until then. In the meantime, I’m going to take some time today to just sit outside and enjoy the blooming Bradford Pear trees and forsythia.
My friend, thank you for being here every week. Knowing that you open and read each newsletter helps keep me going. I hope you have a great week.
Until next time, keep fighting.
Scott Ninneman
The Depression Mess and the Return to Order
Thursday morning, my mom had a dentist appointment in Chattanooga, a little under an hour’s drive away. Since we were going to be there anyway, we decided to finish some banking business from when my dad passed. To do so, I needed one form I thought was sitting in a neat pile on my desk, but it wasn’t there.
Frantically, about an hour before we had to leave, I faced one of my biggest foes: my doom piles.
What are doom piles? They are the piles of stuff that grow all over the house during a depression cycle. The mail you don’t have the brain power to open, the laundry you’re too weak to wash, and the dishes that won’t fit in the dishwasher. When I finally rise from a period of depression, it feels like those piles appear out of nowhere.
When you live with bipolar disorder, your environment is a mirror of your mind. During a depressive episode, the “get it done” function goes out the window. Just the thought of putting a cup in the dishwasher feels like trying to climb Mount Everest in flip-flops. The growing mess has nothing to do with being lazy. It’s just because our battery is at zero.
To make matters worse, once we start feeling a little better, the mess itself becomes a trigger.
Our brains struggle to filter out visual stimuli. A cluttered room equals visual noise. It keeps your nervous system in overwhelm mode because everywhere you look, your brain sees an unfinished task.
Decluttering your home has nothing to do with impressing guests. It’s not about making your house look like a magazine cover. Tackling those doom piles is an act of kindness for your future self. It’s a way to create a safe space where you can actually breathe.
When you try to tackle the depression mess, often your first mistake is to try to do it all at once. It’s like trying to run a marathon when you just spent two weeks in bed with the flu. It’s more than your mind and body can handle, a recipe for another crash.
Instead of attacking everything, try the 5-Item Rule.
Don’t clean the room. Just pick up 5 items. Throw away a piece of junk mail. Put a book on the shelf. Take one clean plate out of the dishwasher and put it in the cabinet. You only have to do five, so don’t push yourself to do more. If you have the energy to do 5 more, that’s great. If not, you still have your win for today.
You deserve a space that comforts you, not one that stresses you. Start by clearing the noise (doom piles) five tiny items at a time.
Journal Prompt
Sit in your favorite spot in your house. Look around. How does the space make you feel? Write down one tiny task that could help you breathe a bit easier.
Scott Ninneman is the author of Speaking Bipolar’s 30 Days of Positivity, the Anchored in the Storm guided journal, and the writer behind SpeakingBipolar.com. Living in the mountains of southeast Tennessee, he spends his days crunching numbers as a tax preparer and his nights caring for his mother and writing stories about bipolar life. (And he loves pandas.)
Still here? I made this special thank you just for you.
I have ADHD my son is on the spectrum. I can't function in a dirty messy home. But he insists on dragging out all the things! And I don't have the energy or the executive function to clean it up. Thank you posting this.