One Moment at a Time: How Courage Helps Me Survive
Facing life minute by minute with mental illness.
Hi there!
“Breathe,” my friend Samantha said in her quiet, motherly voice. Her hands held my shoulders in place as she looked into my eyes.
“Look at me,” she said, “and breathe. Just take one breath.”
It was the worst panic attack I ever had, and my lungs felt like stone, unable to draw in air. Icy hands squeezed all the oxygen from my body and held my lungs frozen so they couldn’t take in more.
All I could see was a blinding white light all around me and Samantha’s face. My mind raced, telling me my body needed to run as well, but I couldn’t remember how to use my legs.
“Breathe,” Samantha said again, and then she softly blew air at my face.
The sensation of her breath moving over my skin threw another thought into the mix, just enough of a distraction that I drew in a ragged breath.
“Good,” she smiled. “Now once more.”
It felt like hours past, but all said and done, the entire panic attack lasted less than 30 minutes. When I could finally breathe normally again, I was so exhausted that even standing was impossible. I rolled to my side and laid in the fetal position on the floor.
What the heck was that? my mind wanted to know. And how can I make sure it never happens again?
“The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next.”
- Mignon McLaughlin
Scott Ninneman publishes two newsletters each week. The Sunday All Things Bipolar Newsletter (off Substack) features the newest content about bipolar life. The Speaking Bipolar Positivity Club Newsletter shares inspirational stories three times a week to help you maintain a positive mindset.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Speaking Bipolar's Positivity Club to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.