Making the Right Decisions With Bipolar Disorder
An embarrassing story and a life lesson.
What are you doing to improve?
Self-improvement and personal growth are essential for good mental health. Either you keep getting better or you get worse.
It’s like controlling your weight. If you struggle with weight issues like I do, you know that taking your eye off your goal for even a few days can make you backslide.
One of my biggest ongoing goals is to make my life as simple as possible. To help me do that, I put things in my life on routines or automated processes. Most of my bills are on auto-pay, and AI publishes much of my social media content.
You may have noticed a few changes around Speaking Bipolar recently, and self-improvement is the driving factor.
The site I was using to host the Speaking Bipolar Positivity Club and the Bipolar Mastery Course is not performing the way I desired. I stayed with the company for over a year, hoping things will improve, but it feels like the trend is going the other way. Grow or die, as they say.
The constant frustration drove me to try out Substack. Some of you likely noticed an extra email the past few weeks, and that was part of my testing process of the site. I’m so happy with the results so far that I’m moving several things there.
Both the Positivity Club and Mastery Course will now be available on my Substack channel . In addition, I am reposting the Sunday Newsletter there as well.
If you’re interested in the Bipolar Mastery Course, I will post the first three lessons on Substack, one lesson each Thursday for the next few weeks. These lessons will be available to everyone.
I will also post future lessons on Substack, but these will be behind a paywall ($9/month). You still have the option of buying the course outright from the Speaking Bipolar Store ($97).
While I would love your support for the Speaking Bipolar mission, I don’t expect it. I know most of you live week to week, just like me. I’m happy to see you show up week after week to open and read my Sunday emails.
Change is necessary, and I believe this will be a good one. If you have questions, please reply to this email.
December starts this week. It’s a tough month for many of us with mental illnesses, but never forget you’re not alone. I’ll be here every week cheering for you to keep going.
Thank you for riding the bipolar roller coaster with me.
Until next time, keep fighting.
Scott Ninneman
All the latest news:
Do you ever make poor choices? Me too. It’s often part of having bipolar. Learn to make better decisions with this week’s featured post below.
The next lesson in the Bipolar Mastery Course goes live in the store on Thursday, December 1. This month’s lesson is, Triggers and Bipolar Disorder: What They Are, How to Conquer Them. The lesson includes a video and workbook. (Note: This lesson will show up on the Substack channel in a few weeks.)
Positivity Club Members can look forward to these posts this week:
4 Ways to Get Back to Writing When You're Struggling
5 Years of Online Content Writing: A Reflection
How a Card Reminded Me of the Value of Small Acts of Kindness
Too many things are flooding Brody’s mind this week, and he’s struggling to make sense of them all. See if you can relate. Episode 19 of The Adventures of Brody Bipolar is live on Kindle Vella. Everyone can read episodes 1-3 for FREE, so check it out and let me know what you think. Please like each episode to help me out.
Featured Post:
Making the Right Decisions With Bipolar Disorder
“Why don’t you go in and help her choose a movie?” I said to my girlfriend. The two of us were sitting in my car while our friend was inside the video store trying to choose a movie to rent that night. Yes, this was a few years ago.
My girlfriend was reluctant, but after some prodding, I finally got her out of the car. As soon as she stepped inside the video store, I sped away, headed home. My stomach was rumbling with an urgency rising further south, but I was confident I could make it home in time.
I was wrong.
One of the worst parts of having bipolar is how it inspires you to make terrible decisions. Especially when coping with a manic episode, the worst choices can frequently look like the best thing to do. Sometimes the results are catastrophic. Other times, they take years to recover from. I’m talking about you, the tens of thousands of dollars of credit card debt I racked up.
How can you make better decisions? While you can’t always stop in time, these three methods will help improve your odds.
Take a Day
The first thing to do is take some time. If someone is pressuring you to make a decision right now, walk away. If you’re manic, you may commit to something you can’t handle, like a high monthly payment for a brand new car. While depressed, you may say no to things that could improve your life, like ending a relationship or stopping your medication.
A good rule to follow is to sleep on any decision. Take at least a day to think about it. With bigger decisions, take even longer. You may even need to take days or weeks to decide.
In my worst days, I broke up with wonderful women, quit jobs, and even sold my house. While the last one ended up being a good decision, I lost thousands of dollar by not waiting a little longer.
Rarely do you need to make a decision on the spot. Take the time you need to determine what’s the best choice for you. A pro/con list can help.
Explore Pros and Cons
I love putting pro-and-con lists on paper. There’s a certain satisfaction in seeing one side fuller than the other. The selection becomes much easier and is usually wiser.
List the ways your decision will make your life better or worse. For choices involving jobs, moving, or relationships, consider things like prior history, how the choice will affect your future life, and if your solution will impact others.
Pro-and-con lists get a bad rap, with people often making fun of them. You don’t have to do your list on paper. A mental list will often give you a good grasp as to which side has the stronger pull.
Every decision you make affects your future life. A pro-and-con list will help you maximize the benefits of your choice, but asking for advice also helps.
Get Advice
In my experience, people with bipolar struggle with asking for advice. I know I do. You may feel like if you ask someone for help, it will make them think you’re weak.
Stop that thinking.
Advice from a trusted friend can have many benefits. For example:
Gives a different perspective. Your loved one has a different view of your life than you do. Often they can see obstacles or dangers you might miss.
Help focus on the important points. With significant decisions, it’s easy to get stuck in your head with all the details and lose sight of the big picture. An outside voice can help you stay focused on what’s most important.
Provide emotional support. This one should be obvious, but we often forget it. We all need a friend who will support us no matter what we decide, and some choices are stressful. Support from others can make it easier.
No one should make important decisions alone, especially when they’re dealing with bipolar disorder. The best thing you can do is take the time to think it over and get advice from someone who cares about you.
Learn From the Past
I knew the night of my date that I was sick. But I also knew I only had limited time to spend with my girlfriend. She lived an hour away, and I didn’t want her to waste a trip or miss a chance to be with her. So, I went after what I wanted and ignored the warning signs. I downplayed stomach cramps, ignored the nausea, and pressed forward with our date.
The results were mortifying, but I survived them. I can even laugh at them now, though explaining to your girlfriend and friend why you left them at a video store for an hour while you went home to take a shower and change clothes was not fun. Nor was cleaning up the car, but all of it taught me valuable lessons.
The past is often our best teacher, so pay attention to the lessons life teaches you.
You can make better choices. Take some time to consider your decision, make a pro/con list, and get some advice. Think back to how decisions worked out in the past and then make better choices now. I’m sure your endeavors will go better than my unfortunate date night.
Additional Reading:
Bipolar Disorder and the Internal Pain of Addiction: A Late Reply to a Reader
Bipolar Disorder, Family Triggers, and Intense Anxiety During the Holiday Season
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