Learn Who Is in Your Life for a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime
This week we focus on the people in your life.
Welcome to the new format of the Speaking Bipolar Positivity Club. The free post is now on Mondays. For this week and next, all subscribers will receive all five newsletters for the week. Starting March 17, 2025, only paid subscribers will receive the Tuesday - Friday posts. See the full announcement below.
Hi there!
I enjoy feel-good TV and movies. Give me a happy ending or a relationship that finally comes together, and it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.
Yep, I'm a hopeless romantic.
One of my favorite shows is When Calls the Heart. I wear my Hearty fandom with honor. With all the tragedies making up the news headlines, you need a place to go where you can believe in the goodness of people and have the hope for happy endings.
The dialogue in When Calls the Heart is full of gems. The cheerful characters of Hope Valley know just what to say to prop up their neighbors, and if you're paying attention, you'll benefit, too.
“Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”
- Anais Nin
When you have a loss
The character Rosemary said one diamond when trying to help her friend Elizabeth move on from an especially painful loss. In short, she said people come into our lives: some for a reason, others for a season, and some for a lifetime.
It's a pretty way of looking at how our relationships change over time, and it's helped me make peace with some losses I've experienced.
I'm not just talking about the ending of a romantic relationship, but also the death of a loved one, losing a job, or even the end of a friendship. It's hard to let go, but if we can see the role that person played in our life, it can help us move on from the loss.
Here's how I break it down:
People who come into our lives for a reason usually have a specific task or lesson to teach us. We don't always know what that is at the time, but looking back, we can often see how that person was a catalyst for change or growth.
People who come into our lives for a season are usually there to help us through a tough time. They may be someone we lean on for support, or maybe they're just someone who adds joy to our life for a short time.
People who come into our lives for a lifetime are just that: people who will be in our lives forever, whether it's a family member, friend, or even a pet. These are the people who know us best and love us unconditionally. We never want to be without them.
People in my past
How does this equate to real life? Let me tell you about a few of the people from my past and present.
My first roommate came into my life for a reason. He was a destructive wind worthy of a category five hurricane rating, but he also taught me vital lessons. He helped me see how strong I was and that it’s okay to start over. Without him, I doubt I would have moved to Tennessee, and that decision was one of the best I ever made.
When Mr. Roommate walked out of my life, it was a welcome change. Our friendship ended, but the lessons stuck with me. In the years since, I’ve grown enough to appreciate the good parts of him and leave the rest behind.
My best friend Lizzy came into my life for a season. While we hoped to be together for a lifetime, an auto accident changed our course.
Lizzy helped guide me through some of the worst years of my life, including being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She watched me make terrible decisions but stood by my side, always ready to forgive when I apologized. Nothing will ever have the power of our season in the sun.
When I think of lifetime relationships, there are only a few. I have my second mom in Massachusetts. We don’t talk as much as I’d like, but we always know we’re there for each other. Then there’s my sister and a friend in Mexico. They’re the ones I talk to every week.
It doesn’t stop there, though. I have dozens of friends. Some I love dearly and have known for years, while others I’m still getting to know. I’m sure many of them are in my life for a reason. I just haven’t figured out why yet.
Your view can change
Sometimes, how you view a person can change. I knew Lizzy was a lifetime companion until she was gone. Then I had no choice but to accept that our season had ended.
In the early days of my friendship with my roommate, I also imagined him to be a lifetime friend. Now, I have no regrets that his season has passed. I learned the reason and happily moved on.
While it's not always easy to determine which category someone falls into, I've found it helpful to think about the role each person has played (or is currently playing) in my life. It's also good to remember that even seasonal people can forever alter our lives.
The relationships we have with people for a season can be just as valuable as the ones we have for a lifetime. Lizzy forever changed me even though our season was cut short.
For today, think about the people in your life. What role do they play? Have you told them lately how much they mean to you?
Tomorrow, we will consider which people should be allowed in your life.
Journal Prompt: Have you ever lost someone and then realized later that they were only in your life for a reason or a season? How did it help you to see the situation from that perspective?
Creative Writing Prompt: If you're a fellow Hearty, write an episode including you as a main character. If you don't know the show, write about a day in the life of a schoolteacher living 100 years ago. Then go check out When Calls the Heart. You'll thank me later.
Until next time, keep fighting.
Scott Ninneman
Announcement
Changes to the Positivity Club
Here are a few changes coming to the Positivity Club.
Schedule
Starting today, the free post moves to Monday. The Monday newsletter will introduce a self-improvement theme, such as gratitude, journaling, or choosing better friends.
Tuesday through Friday will have shorter newsletters, each building on the week’s theme, and giving you a fresh journal prompt each day. These newsletters will only appear on Substack.
Starting March 17, 2025, the Tuesday through Friday issues will only go to paid subscribers.
Price
For now, you can sign up as a paid member of the Positivity Club for $5 per month or $40 per year. Sign up now, and as long as you stay a paying subscriber, that price will never increase.
Beginning May 5, 2025, the price for new subscribers goes to $15 per month or $100 per year.
Why the change? The simple answer is that I can’t keep doing all I have been doing. It costs about $2,000 a year to run the Speaking Bipolar site, pay for software, and keep the lights on. For seven years, nearly all of that expense has come out of my pocket.
It also takes me roughly 20 hours a week to write, edit, and format the newsletter content. The large time commitment needs to have more rewards for the energy I expend.
While I would love to keep everything free, that would be a poor business model. I’m also getting older, which means at some point, either my writing or my day job will have to go. I prefer to eliminate the latter, but that means my writing has to replace my income.
Before you panic, the All Things Bipolar Newsletter (currently off Substack) has always been and will stay free for everyone. The Monday post in the Positivity Club will also continue to be free for everyone.
I’m changing the Positivity Club because I keep getting requests for more content. The only way to write more stories is to spend more time at home. You see my problem.
I know some cannot afford to go paid, so I may give out extended trials on a case-by-case basis. Those who can support the Speaking Bipolar mission have my heartfelt gratitude. You are ensuring the future of the Speaking Bipolar site and all it does to help others.
Community
My first goal with the Positivity Club was to create a community for us to share our journeys together. The first platform I tried was too complex, so I moved to Substack. I knew it was a great model, but there were some issues early on.
Substack is more versatile and stronger now, so I’m focusing my free time there. If you want to “talk” to me, follow me in the Notes (Home) section. I try to respond to every message.
Notes is also where I post daily good morning messages and give brief updates on my life. Here’s an example:
If you’re new to Substack Notes, it’s a lot like Twitter used to be before it went to pieces. Notes is free for everyone.
In May, I will open up the community even further with a private chat for Positivity Club members. The private group will be the place to share your struggles, triumphs, and to cheer each other on. I’m excited to see how it develops.
Until next time, keep fighting.
Additional Reading
The book that started it all…
Disclaimer:
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