It’s Not Where You Start, It’s Where You Finish
A High School Rivalry Story
Hi there!
There were two nearby high schools where I grew up: East and West.
The schools were rivals, and no sporting games mattered more than those between the two schools. Special trophies commemorated each season’s games, and the winning school proudly displayed their trophies in their school’s entryway.
We called the football trophy The Log, and it was a fitting name because the backdrop of the trophy was a three-foot slice from the base of a tree.
The deciding football game each year was The Log Game, and all anyone cared about was getting The Log to decorate their school’s entryway for the school year.
“It isn't where you came from. It's where you're going that counts.”
- Ella Fitzgerald
Scott Ninneman publishes two newsletters each week. The Sunday All Things Bipolar Newsletter features the newest content about bipolar life. The Speaking Bipolar Positivity Club Newsletter shares inspirational stories three times a week to help you maintain a positive mindset.
Moving Change Everything
This is the world I grew up in. My parents went to East High School. All of my older siblings went to East High School, and I knew in time I would proudly wear one of their red and white letterman jackets.
Life rarely goes as planned, and when I was in seventh grade, my dad got a promotion at work. It was good news except for one condition: he had to move within two miles of his workplace.
We had to leave our old farmhouse on the East side or town and transition into enemy territory.
Lines were lines, and I was going to have to go to the West High School.
At first, I was terrified. My whole life, the West was an opponent we had to beat, and now I was going to be one of their students.
Change is Scary
Receiving a mental illness diagnosis is scary, a lot like moving to a new place.
It can feel like your entire world tips on its side and you get dropped into enemy territory. You’re not sure who to trust, what to think, or where you belong.
You are not alone. Your diagnosis is only your starting point, not your destiny. It’s not where you start, but where you go that matters.
Your diagnosis does not define you. What’s important is how you choose to recover from it.
Moving into a new district was scary for me, but I learned how to cope with my new situation. The middle school I was attending had different district lines than the high schools, and I discovered many of my closest friends were going to West.
Then, when I finally started high school, I was too busy to care about the school rivalry. My life was full of clubs, after-school jobs, and volunteering.
The world got clearer, and I realized that once I walked out those school doors for the last time, I would never again think about what side of town I lived on. Rather than defining who I was, the whole East-West battle is just a tiny piece of my story.
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Write Your Story
You have the power to write your story.
You get to decide how your mental illness will impact your life. There will be rough times, maybe even scary ones, but you can succeed.
The decision is yours: will you let your mental illness define you or will you define your mental illness? Will you fret over what your diagnosis means, or will you get to work and realize it’s only a piece of your story?
It’s not where you start, it’s where you finish. And you get to choose how your story ends. You are the author of your life, and mental illness does not have the final say.
So keep going. Keep fighting. You are not alone in this battle. And together, we will finish strong.
What’s one thing from your childhood that you changed your mind about as you got older? Please share your stories in the comments.
Writing Time
Think deeper about how endings and stories can change with these writing prompts.
Journal Prompt: Write about an event that ended better than you expected. What did the experience teach you?
Creative Writing Prompt: Write a Romeo and Juliet story, but in a unique setting. It could be a town today with rival football teams, cavemen thousands of years ago, or somewhere in the distant future. Does your couple find a way to save their love?
Until next time, keep fighting.
Scott Ninneman
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"Your diagnosis does not define you". I wish employers that I approach for jobs were as open minded about that as you are.
TW:S
I have had to change many plans due to untreated bipolar 1. I dropped out of college my junior year, and I had a 4.0. Maintaining that grade level was so stressful that I turned into a perfectionist, studying during all my waking hours.
My textbooks were pretty much all yellow pages due to my highlighting. My husband told me to highlight what was NOT important, as we would never be able to resell those books.
I also developed anorexia. My inner life and some behaviors were so difficult to control that I was grasping at things I could have power over.
So my college plans were derailed. After my diagnosis and final stability, I tried to go back to college, but my perfectionism came back jarringly.
I could only take one class at a time, and never completed my degree. My anorexia developed into binge eating disorder that time.
I've had to change my idea of what a successful life is: no suicide attempts; caring for my children to the best of my ability; and maintaining a vibrant marriage.
I could only work part-time due to anxiety, and I was a superior worker as a grocery checker. My boss would always contact me when someone became sick.
I have peace with now with my life. My self-esteem has been restored with acceptance of what is my reality. It was hoisted on me. I didn't get to be "successful" in the manner in which I thought I would.
I applaud myself for making refreshing lemonade after all these years. I'm 70-years-old and life is good.