How Many Friends Do You Need?
It's probably less than you think.
Hi there!
Friends are essential for a happy life. But how many friends do you need?
When I was young, I believed you needed hundreds of friends. I did my best to be likable to everyone. It made me sick to my stomach any time I found out someone didn’t like me. I was a model people-pleaser and beat myself up every time I felt like I failed.
Part of it is having bipolar disorder, but my diagnosis was a mystery until I was in my mid-twenties. The other part of it was just an innate desire to have enough friends. To me, friends meant security, and there was too little of that in my life.
Now that I’ve reached the half century mark in my life, I know no one needs hundreds of friends. In fact, having one or two reliable friends is worth more than 100 wave-at-the-grocery-store friends.
Real friends know you inside and out and accept all of you. They see the warts but love you anyway. Only these precious gems become a chosen family that makes you feel safe.
“Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you.”
- Edmund Lee
Scott Ninneman publishes two newsletters each week. The Sunday All Things Bipolar Newsletter features the newest content about bipolar life. The Speaking Bipolar Positivity Club Newsletter shares inspirational stories three times a week to help you maintain a positive mindset.
My best friend used to say, “You can laugh with good friends, but you can only sit in silence with great friends.” How right she was. You can only be completely at peace with those you trust.
We spent many hours sitting in silence. Even without words, those moments of solitude made our love grow. We understood each other on a level where speech was unnecessary.
If you have a few friends in your life who love you unconditionally, you have a priceless gift. No amount of money could ever replace one of those friends. Cherish them and hold on tight.
The best way to repay these precious friends is to be the same kind of friend to them.
Friends can disappear in an instant. My friend left this life just minutes after we hung up the phone. As much as losing her hurt, I would do it all over again. The few moments we shared taught me to love and accept love in return.
For today, think about your friends. Which friends are priceless to you? Who can you turn to, no matter the problem? Take a moment to reach out and tell them what they mean to you.
Journal Prompt: Who was the best friend you ever had? What made that friendship so special?
Creative Writing Prompt: You’re a mad scientist and building a best friend from scratch. Write the story.
Until next time, keep fighting.
Scott Ninneman
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Additional Reading:
One Dinner With Friends Reminded Me Why I Avoid Social Interaction
How Expressing Your Creativity Can Improve Your Mental Health
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