Forgive Them If Possible
Why you should forgive the cause of your bad memory.
Hi there!
Wednesday’s Journal Prompt: Think back to the painful memory you considered on Monday. Have you forgiven yourself for the event? What step can you take today to move toward forgiveness? Try writing a letter of apology to yourself.
When I first found out my ex had cheated on me, my head nearly exploded. I not only saw red, but I wanted to burn down our house and destroy everything she ever touched.
Even when I got past the initial anger, I still couldn't stand to be in the house. I ended up selling the house and most of the furniture and started over with new things.
No, it wasn't the healthiest of decisions, but it was what I needed to move forward.
Then came the next step in overcoming painful memories: forgiving the other person.
Let’s get this out of the way first. There are some things you can’t forgive. As much as I try to be a forgiving man, there are some things I just can't get past.
Cruelty to animals and abuse to children leave no empathy in my heart. Men who batter women and people who take advantage of or neglect the elderly also fall in this category.
The point is, there are some things you can't forgive. At least, not entirely.
If you can forgive, it's good that you do. When my relationship with my ex ended, I couldn't imagine there would ever be a time I would forgive her. But with the passing of time, I found that I could.
My forgiveness wasn’t in the sense that I wanted her to be part of my life again. That door was nailed shut and encased in concrete. But I still offered forgiveness.
Why?
Because after a while I realized that holding on to my anger was only hurting me. She moved on, married another man, and probably never thought of me. Yet, I was sitting home alone, reliving my pain over and over again.
It was only by forgiving her that I could move on from the pain. Now, I rarely think of her.
Forgiving the other person isn’t about setting them free. It's about freeing yourself. So, if at all possible, find a way to forgive the other person.
There's one more step in moving past painful memories, and we'll dive into that one tomorrow.
Thursday’s Journal Prompt: Can you forgive the person/people who hurt you? If so, what's the first step to take in doing so? Write a journal entry about how you will feel when all of this is finally behind you.
Until next time, keep fighting.
Scott Ninneman
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Exactly! It only hurts us, not the person who wronged us. Lovely post!